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Single Again

Trina shouted it loud and proud and
somewhere between the boastful chorus
and the chanting refrain, thousands of
people caught on.


Written by By Courtney Omega

Billboard noted the song as a quick mover, as it
soared up the charts after its debut. Was it the
sassy rapper’s own public breakup that motivated
consumers to buy this track, and even enter their
own YouTube video in a contest, or was this Single Sensation catching on?

Dating sites such as EHARMONY and Millionaire Matches proudly tout claims of long-term hookups in this day and age of flirty freedom but relationship experts and daters alike say differently.
“People are definitely taking longer to find lifelong partners and commit,” says Walter Brown, Ph.D a psychologist writing a novel SingleSociety. “The average age for marriage has gone up from 24-26 to 30 in just the last decade. It’s not phenomenal but it is noteworthy and it definitely is a trend that needs some looking into. “

Daters on the scene also weigh in.
“I love being single again. I was married for 14 years and he was an ok guy but I’m glad to have my life and my freedom back,” says Darlene Butts, 38, Philadelphia. “At first it was hard cooking for just me me and my kids and sleeping alone, but now I celebrate it and I recently just bought a bigger bed and redid my bedroom!”

“A buddy of mine just got married and the wedding was nice and all but I’m not interested in that life just yet. I have two boys and I work on just being the best dad I can to them. If God puts a wife in my path then of course I am not going to turn down the opportunity but it’s true when people say being a parent is a full time job. I don’t have time for the ins and outs of relationships,” says James Kirkwood, 36, Charlotte, NC.

Phenomenon or Trend? Epidemic or new tradition? A popular radio station in Charlotte, NC posed this question and the phone line stayed lit up for hours with callers from across three states contending to have their voices heard. The callers that got through mostly were in favor of the Single Scene as opposed to the lifelong committed. This came to no surprise to Jay, a local listener and contributing comedian to a singles blogsite.consequences.”

“Most people, men and women, see being committed as being tied up. I mean, seriously, who wants that? Who grows up thinking, “what I want to do is get out of my parents’ house so I can meet someone who tells me what to do, where to go, who to see and controls my money….just like my parents?”

For others, the decision is not such a humorous or an easy one. “I just got married again and I am really hoping this is it,” says William Smith, 29, Charelston, SC. “I like to have a woman who will be by my side and help me to raise a family. My first wife wasn’t really interested in children but now I’m a father of three so I said ok, let’s try this again.”

Is the second time the charm? Smith hopes so. “Man, this was a full out wedding. My brothers told me this has to be it because they aren’t coming to any more weddings of mine!”

While Trina and some other celebs celebrated their recent singleness in the national news, some others found marriage to be a comfort.

Usher Raymond made headlines as he took his wife Tameka Foster to the altar and they welcomed a

baby boy months later. Fans seemed not ready to accept this mega superstar as a husband and father. Hip Hop Mogul Jay Z and Beyonce also entered the world of marital bliss, according to news sources world wide

For some, the question is ‘what’s the rush’ “The way I see it, you have your whole life to be miserable and unhappy,” joked comedian Roy Wood on a recent standup routine.

According to experts, there are valid reasons for both.
“People in healthy relationships tend to live longer,” says Dr. Kyle Mack. “However the key term is healthy. There are many components to a healthy relationship; trust, love, and honor just to name a few. If you are with someone who exhibits the same qualities you desire and possess then it’sno wonder that you will want to maximize the time you two spend together. Spouses should inspire one another.”

“Enjoying being single leads to people discovering exactly what people want in a relationship, and what they are willing to sacrifice and what they expect from their spouse.” Dr. Anthony Hernandez, Philadelphia, says. “If one enters into a relationship as a teenager before they have had the experience of dating people or even discovering what they accomplish, then this might ultimately lead to dissatisfaction in relationships throughout the course of their adult life. It definitely pays for one to have some type of expectations, understanding and patience to deal with people in a loving capacity.”

Whether one is ‘back on the prowl’, taking a breather or just neutral experts, encouraging honesty first is key to a successful single life and a committed one.
“If you are multiple dating, be honest, up front with the people you are seeing, or if you aren’t looking for a relationship let this information be known as well. Just by putting this information on front street, a whole lot of confusion and misunderstandings can be avoided,” says Dr. Hernandez.

Whether by surprise or purposeful, consider your single self blessed, not cursed. “You know, a lot of people exhibit the old saying ‘grass looks greener on the other side’. Look at it this way, there are just as many married or long term committed people as there are divorced or single, so this will go on throughout
time,” Brown says. It’s all about what you want and need and where you are in your life. There’s no set time of where you have to be by what age. People are shaking off those old time standards and traditions and I think it’s about time!” Singles everywhere toast to that..

“I don’t care about finding a man by the time I’m 30,” says Keisha, 28, West Oak Lane. “I own my own home, my car and I am happy. I go out on the weekend with my girls and as long as I got them I’m cool.” “I love my life and it’s not about bed hopping either. I haven’t had a girlfriend for two years and I have only been intimate twice in that two year period. I’m just enjoying being me, my space and my place. I love just going where I want at any time of day and I’m very selective about the females I date so I’m just not with the whole ‘playa’ scene. I’m into quality not quantity,” says Charles Yarbrough, 32, Philadelphia. “If I’m single t’il I’m 40 or 50 that’s fine with me. If I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with this female
she has got to be on point and I’m gonna be on point as well. I’m making sure of that.” So, whether you’re toasting with Cosmos at the Single Spot, or Mimosas at a friend’s engagement party or Champagne at a co-worker’s wedding, here’s to you!


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6 Essential Tips to
Perfect Skin for Men

Written by Erica Daniels

In today’s physically conscious society, men are taking charge paying more attention to their grooming habits and skin care. Nowadays, more products are geared towards more of men’s issues with skin and health besides shaving. Even though this area has been dominated by women, men are owed their fair share of grooming products, including that most skin care lines were created bymen, for example: Dr. Brandt, Dr. Perricone, and Anthony Logistics for Men. Due to the numerous products now catering to our male counterparts there is no need for men to shy away from seeking spa services or going undercover using female products in order to maintain good skin.

NUTRITION
Good Skin is not only genetic; it also starts from within; with your diet and nutrition that play an important part in the appearance of your skin. By maintaining a well balanced diet, eliminating alcohol, smoking, putting exercise in your routine and maintain your overall health you can improve the overall condition of your skin. Adding Skin vitamins like A, B, C, E, and iron to your regiment can also help contribute to a clear complexion.

DRINK WATER
Drink lots of WATER……….This step should always be number 1# and that is hydrate, hydrate, hydrate how can I not stress this enough… Water gets rid of toxins in the body, which contributes
to rough looking dehydrated skin… Also to mention that water makes up 70% of your skin.

CLEANSING/MOISTURIZING REGIME
A basic home care regime for men is comparable to women’s daily regime, and that is cleansing, moisturizing/protecting.

Cleansing:
Men’s skin is oilier than women’s and thicker. Cleansing the skin daily will help unclog pores, and is the first step before applying any
other product. It is best to use a cleanser like Cetaphil gentle cleanser found in drugstores, or a department store brand made specifically for men,
ZIRH clean face wash.

Toning:
Toner restores the PH balance to skin after cleansing. It is also great for after shaving to calm skin from irritation. All toners from any brand work well, some are geared more towards to after shaving.

Moisturizing/Protecting:
Most moisturizers are alike, meaning they bring added moisture to the skin from all the cleansing and
shaving that may have occurred. It brings a balance back. Nivea has created an oil control moisturizer
due to men’s oilier nature.As far as protecting, a lot of drugstore brands have SPF built into the product to protect the skin when going outside. Even though you may have a favorite, products work best when

partnered with their kind, so if you purchase a cleanser from Neutrogena, don’t forget to get the moisturizer to go with it.

These are basic daily steps. In addition to those steps, there is always the fine-tuning that we need everyonce and awhile, which include exfoliating, or spa treatments (when necessary).

Exfoliate or a scrub:
This helps to brighten the skin, by removing all the dead skin on the surface that is shed everyday by the body. An accumulation of dead skin cells can contribute to blemishes and ingrown hairs. Exfoliating with a product, (Neutrogena Men Razor Defense) is good to use before shaving to help eliminate razor bumps from occurring.

Spa Treatment: this can consist of a mask treatment or just a deep cleanse for the face. Some men would prefer to leave this up tothe spa. *When attending a spa, the aesthetician will help determine what skin type you are and continue to follow skin care products that treat that particular skin type.

SUNSCREEN
Protecting the skin, this particular step is the most forgotten step of the bunch and is the most important.
Sunscreen and protecting our skin is a must for everyone. Eventhough some darker complexions
have more melanin than others, there is still a 50% chance for skin cancers/environmental damage,
and premature anti-aging to occur in those skin types. If you spend most of your day outdoors, working
or for pleasure, always remember to put sunscreen on. Most skin care lines have designed a face moisturizer
with a built in sunscreen to protect your skin. Most skin care lines have an SPF of 15, which is the minimum needed if you are outdoors for a small period of time. Always go up a notch if your job requires you to be outside all day, and invest in a higher SPF 30/50 to protect your skin.

SHAVING ISSUES
With trying to maintain skin care there will always be
issues and men’s number 1# issue is the dreaded ingrown hairs, aka razor bumps. Try not to irritate skin and shave with the hair growth and never against it. On shaving days, cleanse and exfoliate before shaving to get rid of all dead skin. Exfoliating the skin also helps with lifting the hair to get a good shave.
Before shaving use a bump cream and proceed with shaving gel or oil cream for a smoother finish. Finish with a moisturizer and protect the skin with sunscreen if going outside. Maintaining good skin care for men is not too different from women. Unlike women, men rarely need to or look forward to spending countless hours in the bathroom prepping their skin. All it takes are the basic steps with the right products designed for men’s skin. When you remember these basics, and make them apart of your daily lifestyle habits, then your skin will be on its way to looking its best.


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Boss Man & Lady

Written by By James R. Sanders

Most jobs and careers are very important to those who have them. Which is why it is always a common mystery why people engage in acts of passion and relations with someone in the workplace? When it ends, like most workplace romances do, the rules of engagement completely
change. This is baffling when the entire course of treachery might have been avoided by not engaging
in workplace romance. In light of this, I decided to hit the streets and ask the questions that matter to the people that matter.

Have you ever had a relationship in the workplace and did it end well.
1. 10% it got me that promotion that I wanted
2. 30% I’m still married, and I don’t regret it
3. 60% we both lost our jobs, and neither one of us can stand the other.

When a man loves a woman, what does it mean? Can you actually be in love with someone from the workplace? Or is it all just lies? These are the questions that come to mind when a man and woman engage in romance in the workplace. If a man were to initiate a relationship with his superior who happens to be female, can he actually be in love with his counterpart? The theory of a young man and older more sophisticated woman is always what the public thinks of in this case. When those relationships end, claims of sexual harassment are
immediately filed. (24% according to the Society for Human Resource Management) The street statistics
were quite different. Of the 5 owners or CEO’s that I asked, here is what they said.
1. “I’ve been accused before, which is crazybecause I don’t do men”
2. “People are always going to talk, and I really jut have myself to blame for getting involved with him”
3. “I anticipated something like this, which is why I flipped the script and filed the charges on her first”
4. “You’re already looked at for being a woman, Why would you give them something to talk about?”

5. “When you decide to take a gamble on your career, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences.”

When a woman loves a man, what does it mean? Is she dating someone to gain status in the workplace?
Is she trying to get a raise in more than one way? Love comes in all sizes, which is why it is ludicrous
to assume that in this instance the woman is a statuesque beauty, while the man is a slob. After these relationships end, complaints of favoritism are brought up. (28% also according to the Society for Human Resource Management)

So is it worth it? 55% of workplace romances actually do result in marriage. These figures are interesting
considering the amount of grief that it takes to survive all of the adversity. So the question of whether love conquers all must be true, or is it? For the 55% of marriages that resulted from romances in the work-place, 45% still result with negative consequences. These consequences usually are immediate termination or decreased morale of co-workers, which last year, was at 16%. When I emailed surveys to the staff at an anonymous company, the percentages were not as expected.
1. Of the company, 5 people were married to
others in the same company!
2. 3% of the staff agreed that inter office relationships
were not a good idea
3. 56% of the staff thought that inter office
relationships were a good idea
4. and 41% cared less either wayInter office relationships can go either way.
Even though it should not be taken lightly, always remember that they can work out if you work hard. Statistics are just numbers, they should not dictate true love, or make you indulge in a fantasy that might end up putting you out on the streets. Work place
romance is just that. However the outcome does not have to be stereotypical.


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Blessing of Singleness

submitted by an anonymous author

If God revealed to you that you would never be married, would that change your outlook on life? Would you put so much energy into your appearance? Would you use as much time building relationships with the opposite sex? I had to ask myself this question, and I asked the young ladies in our Tuesday night devotions group. The responses were shocking! My friend E said, “I would help people more,” and I said, “I probably wouldn’t get my hair done as much.” Some of the other responses ranged from, “I would use more of my free time with God,” “I would begin to join church activities, you know volunteer more.” Dee said, “I would adopt some children, because I would definitely get lonely.” I asked the ladies these questions because I wanted them to realize that, even though they always say they don’t care if they don’t have a man, subliminally they really do. I brought out the point that there shouldn’t be anything different in their lives then, (if they weren’t to get married)….that shouldn’t be bringing them fulfillment in their lives right now. After our session they all agreed they needed to do some serious self examination. I had to ask myself these questions to see if I was in God’s perfect will while I’m single, and to see if I am doing things in my life to bring fulfillment, because marriage and companionship alone does not bring us fulfillment.

Most of the women I spoke with feel that to love a man, get married, have children and a successful career is the only script that will satisfy that longing of fulfillment. This sounds great, but we can have all of this and still be alone and unhappy.

There are many circumstances worse than not having a companion. One of them is having a companion who doesn’t share your love and desire for God, someone whose lack of commitment divides your relationships commitment.


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Not Your Average Black Girll

“Japanese, Korean, Brazilian, Italian and
French, sounds like categories in a
restaurant menu?.


Written by Ashley

Japanese, Korean, Brazilian, Italian and French, sounds like categories in a restaurant menu? Well, it’s not. These are some of the races that I have dated so far in my early adult life.

I guess you would consider me an out of the ordinary black girl. I started dating at seventeen, and through out my dating experiences I have not

YET dated an African American male. I know, I know, shame on me, right? WRONG! I stand for interracial dating. Hell, I’ll even wear a T-Shirt, wave a flag, start a parade! I love different cultures and meeting people from different countries, and I must say that dating them is a plus. I’ve gotten to learn about their upbringings and learned how to say useful sentences in their language. I’ve gone out to many events learning and celebrating their culture. And there is nothing like having French or Italian whispered in your ear throughout the night.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am for my race. But it’s hard when you hear “Shawty, come here!” or “Yooooah,” (HUGE emphasis on the O’s) every time I walk down the street. Seriously, it sounds like a mating call for cows. End it, please. We deserve better than that. I’m not trying to generalize but there is a massive shortage of versatility in the “black male department” of the city. “We need a clean up on aisle
4. All white t-shirts, baggy, half-off your ass jeans must be cleaned up!” I’m not interested in how fast you can ruin my eardrums by the exploding music coming from your car. I’m not impressed with how many rap songs you can “spit.” Boring! The list goes on but I’ll play it safe, and plus I’m not trying to type a novel here.

In short, I stand for interracial dating. There is abso-lutely nothing wrong with dating people outside of your race. It is a great experience and it would be wonderful if women and men of any race go outside of their boundaries. There are all different kinds of races here in the city. And passports are not needed.


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